To lift the gloom surrounding England’s all failing South African World Cup (mis) adventure, here’s a few of the cleaner anecdotes that we have been receiving here at Ringtones-Direct -

The hot sunny weather that the UK is currently experiencing is set to continue despite yesterdays shower arriving in quickly from South Africa.

Rumours circulating yesterday that England’s flight home was to be diverted to Glasgow Airport to receive a heroes welcome were finally proved to be untrue.

Who?

MISSING PERSONS REPORT . Have you seen Wayne Rooney? Description -  lazy fat bloke, went missing in South Africa 3 weeks ago.

David Blane is said to be gutted that his world record has been broken by Wayne Rooney – 44 days in a box doing absolutely nothing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? According to Fifa it didn’t.

Have you got any more? If so, we could do with a laugh – please post them in the comments box below and PLEASE keep them clean or they won’t get published!!

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